According to the National Center for Child Death Review Policy and Review, 53,000 children die each year. That means 100,000 parents must navigate child loss. Those numbers do not include Parents that lost their child at age 18 or above. Now picture that number. Globally, 3.9 % of all children die before the age of five. The World Health Organization reports 1.3 million deaths aged 15-24. What is especially shocking for me is around 2,500 young adults, aged 21-25, died by homicide each year.
Those numbers really didn’t mean much to me prior to Lauren. It’s not that I didn’t care but they were just numbers. I didn’t have personal experience with child loss, and I didn’t give it much thought.
No Longer Just Numbers
In 2013 my Lauren became a statistic. Lauren died at age 24 while she ran in our neighborhood park. She was attacked and viciously murdered by a stranger that was released from prison. Lauren’s murder was all over the news. Her story hit the national and worldwide news and was even discussed on the floor of Congress with her picture. In an instant my daughter became a statistic for violence and murder in parks. She also became a statistic for murders committed by a prisoner released early. Congress mentioned her as another statistic to illegals in our country committing crimes.
I also became a statistic; I am now a grieving parent to a murdered daughter. It was shocking to me I was considered a victim of murder. The district attorney told me to apply for Crime victims Compensation Program for the state of Texas: I did. As an immediate family member, I qualified for mental health care compensation. I completed forms and became statistical information for the state of Texas.
Never Again
Now when I hear the national news of a horrendous, notorious murder, I think of those parents. How they never thought they or their child would become a statistic. If someone is missing, I pray for their safety and pray for their parents. Once a body is found, I go into survival mode. I remove myself from social media, TV, and guard my heart. My heart aches for Lauren, for the new victim, and for the parents. I know their pain. I am intimate with their pain. They are under the microscope by news organizations, and they are all camped outside their home. They have someone else screening their calls because every news organization wants a comment. If the FBI is involved, they are inside their house and guarding their home. In an instant their lives have turned into a nightmare and the world is watching.
My Lauren
Gabby Petito was one of those cases. I had to turn every T.V. off and seclude myself to protect my sanity. During this time, my husband and I were invited next door to a neighborhood BBQ. While at the BBQ, someone brought up the case and said they were obsessed with it. Suddenly it was thrown in my face and so was Lauren’s murder. I had to stop them right there, apologized and explained I cannot talk about that case. I know to them it was a puzzle that needed to be analyzed and discussed. To them, Gabby was a statistic.
To me, Gabby was so much more, she was my Lauren. Yes, a different scenario, but in my heart a young woman viciously murdered. Each time, and they happen too often, a new case hits the news, I grieve Lauren all over again. No, it is just not statistics. It will never again be just statistics.